Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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