It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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