I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
