So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? šš
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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