She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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