he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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