this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
