Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
