if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
