Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
