I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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