They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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