its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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