I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
