all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
