So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Terrible idea I love it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
