Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
