So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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