i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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