her vagine was all disorganized.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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