idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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