Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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