never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
