I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
