Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
