this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
