Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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