I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dicks are not precious.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
