okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
