I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
