i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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