Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
