So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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