I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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