I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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