he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
