WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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