oh god the rape fog is back!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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