Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
