Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
