loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We just shotgunned beers for America
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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