KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They have beer where we have blood.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I pour the whiskey from now on
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
