they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
