summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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