guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
