Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
