Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
