i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
