I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
