You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
being pregnant is like rehab
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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