Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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